ceredwensirius: (Text: Sirius Black)
( Nov. 7th, 2010 11:20 pm)
My parents dropped me off this evening after going to the vet to pick up Lutzi. It was really nice being pampered by my mom for a few days. We had our moments but on the whole, we got along better than we usually do. I'll have a longer update at some point, but for now I've got Lutzi (who is snoring beside me on the couch), and I'm back at my own place. Tomorrow I'm going in for probably a half-day and Tuesday back to a regular schedule. I've got some discomfort but no pain and am doing pretty well, all things considered.

All of your well wishes have been greatly appreciated.
To Life Until Peter was found out and brought in, this was it. The problem was that no one but them were looking for him.

Heartbreakingly sad, but lovely.

Stars Shining Bright Above You When he dreams, he dreams in wide, sweeping epics or in perfect rosebuds of vignettes. The importance of dreams and how they can change you.

Sirius dreams about a man he's never met. Interesting ending.

Into Every Corner He falls in love with the music, and just maybe the man singing it too.

Adorbale fic with a besotted Sirius. Who doesn't love a besotted Sirius?

Team Canon
A-like Singing the Blues As the war slowly came to consume their lives, "London Calling" were two words neither of them ever wanted to hear.

Very short fic that really captures the despair of the first war. So ouchy.

Health and mom, arghhh )
ceredwensirius: (Our Lady of the Mods)
( Oct. 4th, 2010 10:58 pm)
First, I apologize for scaring everybody. I was in a lot of pain at the time, was starting to worry this was some weird prolonged heart attack, and my phone was dead and the charger left at work on Friday. I needed help and didn't know how to get it.

Again, thank you.

I'll begin at the beginning. I had just settled back after taking Lutzi for a walk. It was an ordinary Saturday evening, about 7:00 - 7:30. I had been trading comments with folks over at [livejournal.com profile] remusxsirius (or was it [livejournal.com profile] accio_rs_fics?) and posted a rec to [livejournal.com profile] crack_broom. The point being, most of the day I felt fine.

The pain came on sudden and strong. One minute I was preparing to read Team AUs fic and type up my daily_deviant piece and the next I had this dull, pressing, powerful ache right under lowest point of my sternum. I walked around, I lay down, I stretched every which way trying to find a comfortable position and nothing worked. The pain just got stronger and then I started sweating profusely which scared me almost more than the pain. That's when I put the message up. Thank you again. The ambulance was there within only a few minutes of me posting that.

So, my house becomes filled with Firefighters and EMS techs and Lutzi is trying to shower them with love and affection and it is generally bedlam plus blinking lights. They do a quickie EKG on me and make me chew baby aspirin and put a nitroglyerin patch on my skin and a nitro pill under my mouth every 10 minutes or so. Nitro is leaves a nasty after taste, in case you were wondering.

Let me say here that none of this doing anything for the pain because I wasn't having a heart attack. Also, add dizzyness and disorientation due to the pain. I have never been in so much pain I thought I would pass out from it. I've had migraines that required darvoset in the ass at the rate of twice a month, and been in a roll over car crash in which I took road burn on my arm and a fucked up wrist and knee and it was nothing, nothing compared to this.

The ride to the hospital was awful. I recommend never having a pissed off pancreas and EMS ride to the hospital. The ambulance's every lurch increased the pain and EMS techs either cannot give you pain meds or simply don't, not sure which.

So they roll me into the emergency bay and get me to move from the bed to a stretcher and I immediately do so and curl up into a tight ball. Because it felt marginally better to do so. Marginally. Which gets their attention because I should be on my back don't you know? All the while I've been asked the same four questions over and over. I barely had the patience for the EMS techs but I had managed to be civil through all their questions, but when I got to the emergency room my politeness failed me. And then they start pushing on my abdomen and asking me if it hurts. Me and my patience parted ways. I scared off one CA and had another firing back at me and that was when they sent a doctor over with my new best friend dilauded. That stuff was amazingly effective.

Here is where I start apologizing to everyone I snapped at because I know they were only trying to help. I answer all their questions, got a X-Rays, another EKG, blood drawn, peed in a cup, and had an ultrasound. It was the blood work that showed that my lipase levels (an enzyme created by the pancreas) were elevated. The normal range is like 35-50 (I think) and mine were in the 1000's.

They really weren't sure what was wrong with me at first. The ultasound didn't show any gall stones and I don't drink that much. In 70% of pancreatitis cases these are the main factors, alcoholism and gall stones. But they have the what if not the why so they admit me.

They couldn't get me a room until 6:30 am so I spent the night in the ER. This was an interesting night.

The tushie I saw wasn't hot tushie, but it was entertaining. Right outside my room (no actual walls, just a big sliding glass door) they've got a guy parked on a stretcher who has had a rough night. He got into a fight with someone (please bear in mind that at the time I was still high on dilauded so the details of his life are sketchy) while drunk. Really, really, really drunk. And bemoaning his lack of pussy. Loudly. Which. I mean if you are male and that drunk can you even get it up? Probably not. So, this guy under all those blankets hasn't got a stitch on. Not even a hospital gown. And he can't seem to keep his covers on. Entertaining! Hours later when he was ready to be released he hopped off the stretcher with nary a care in the world. Butt-naked.

Also, he wasn't the only streaker in the ER. There was a girl who joined in the fun sometime around 3:00 am. The ER staff had a dickens of a time keeping these two clothed and none of them wanted to stay put. As I said, entertaining!

So! That was my night in the ER.

The next two days were really boring. The pain never came back (I am not complaining) and they didn't feed me for the first 24 hours and when they did finally feed me, they kept me on a mostly liquid diet. The no food and liquid food was to give my pancreas a break. I may never again eat broth of green jello.

I did have cute male staff though and they were flirts. One kept me laughing all day Sunday which was lovely because in between the laughing I'm getting poked a lot with sharp things and getting other things stuck to me. They were monitoring a lot of things very closely like my lipase and what not.

Today I went for the second ultra sound and this was more in depth than what the ER had available on short notice. This showed that I actually do have teeny tiny gall stones which means the gall bladder has to go. I'll be taking care of that either this weekend or next in out patient surgery. I have had several people telling me not to put this off which strikes me as kind of absurd. No, I don't like the idea of surgery. I like even less the idea of having another episode like this.

One thing that was decidedly not fun was my mother having me as a captive audience. Which means I heard an awful lot about all the wonderful things Tom is doing for me. She's got a one track mind this woman. I love her but I wish she would let this go. I am grateful that he was there for me. I have thanked him repeatedly. I don't think thanking him with a reconciliation is the right answer.

So anyway. I am relatively okay. I need surgery and will get it soonish.

Thank you again for all the well wishes and the good vibes. They really helped and made me feel incredibly cared about. Fandom can be a really wonderful, supportive place and I appreciate every single one of you.


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