ceredwensirius: (Text: Sirius Black)
( Nov. 7th, 2010 11:20 pm)
My parents dropped me off this evening after going to the vet to pick up Lutzi. It was really nice being pampered by my mom for a few days. We had our moments but on the whole, we got along better than we usually do. I'll have a longer update at some point, but for now I've got Lutzi (who is snoring beside me on the couch), and I'm back at my own place. Tomorrow I'm going in for probably a half-day and Tuesday back to a regular schedule. I've got some discomfort but no pain and am doing pretty well, all things considered.

All of your well wishes have been greatly appreciated.


Lost To Yourself Sirius Black writes gay porn for a skin mag, and meets Remus Lupin, who does professional readings (audio recordings) of his fictions, and there is flirting, and courting, and love over narratives, cds, and fictionality.

Oh, how much do I love this? Tons! This is a delightful story with lovely prose and a romance that heats up between Sirius, a porn author, and Sirius, his reader (think podficcer). Sirius' narrative changes as his desire for Remus, someone he has never met but whose voice he has fallen in unrepentent lust with. When the two do finally meet the chemistry simply crackles between them. This piece also features a very endearing cameo of Tonks, the snarky, pushy cousin who who banters wickedly with Sirius. Delightful that you should go read right now!

Going On Fifteen "Harry has a girlfriend," Remus says in a hushed voice, but Harry can still hear him from the bottom of the stairs. He shouldn't eavesdrop, but it's about him, so he has a right to know what they're saying.

A very sweet story told from Harry's POV about the anxiety parents have watching their children grow and hope that their own mistakes aren't repeated. This very short read is very endearing with memorable dialog.

Watching You When Remus, a Firebender, arrives at Hogwarts, he only expects to learn how to firebend. He doesn’t expect to learn seven other lessons as well, nor does he expect to find them the most meaningful lessons of all.

This piece is a crossover with the 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' which I have no familiarity with but still found this to be a charming, enjoyable read.

Team Canon

Je vois les autres In which Sirius likes to keep track of the things his friends do, and Remus doing whatever Remus wants to is turning out to be quite a problem. And Sirius's problem, at that.

I love a boyish, oblivious Sirius who is the last to realize he has a thing for Remus. This is charming to the last as Sirius stalks Remus about the castle becoming ever more frustrated with the werewolf's determination for doing as he pleases, with nary a by-your-leave for Sirius.

Tiny health update )
ceredwensirius: (Our Lady of the Mods)
( Oct. 4th, 2010 10:58 pm)
First, I apologize for scaring everybody. I was in a lot of pain at the time, was starting to worry this was some weird prolonged heart attack, and my phone was dead and the charger left at work on Friday. I needed help and didn't know how to get it.

Again, thank you.

I'll begin at the beginning. I had just settled back after taking Lutzi for a walk. It was an ordinary Saturday evening, about 7:00 - 7:30. I had been trading comments with folks over at [livejournal.com profile] remusxsirius (or was it [livejournal.com profile] accio_rs_fics?) and posted a rec to [livejournal.com profile] crack_broom. The point being, most of the day I felt fine.

The pain came on sudden and strong. One minute I was preparing to read Team AUs fic and type up my daily_deviant piece and the next I had this dull, pressing, powerful ache right under lowest point of my sternum. I walked around, I lay down, I stretched every which way trying to find a comfortable position and nothing worked. The pain just got stronger and then I started sweating profusely which scared me almost more than the pain. That's when I put the message up. Thank you again. The ambulance was there within only a few minutes of me posting that.

So, my house becomes filled with Firefighters and EMS techs and Lutzi is trying to shower them with love and affection and it is generally bedlam plus blinking lights. They do a quickie EKG on me and make me chew baby aspirin and put a nitroglyerin patch on my skin and a nitro pill under my mouth every 10 minutes or so. Nitro is leaves a nasty after taste, in case you were wondering.

Let me say here that none of this doing anything for the pain because I wasn't having a heart attack. Also, add dizzyness and disorientation due to the pain. I have never been in so much pain I thought I would pass out from it. I've had migraines that required darvoset in the ass at the rate of twice a month, and been in a roll over car crash in which I took road burn on my arm and a fucked up wrist and knee and it was nothing, nothing compared to this.

The ride to the hospital was awful. I recommend never having a pissed off pancreas and EMS ride to the hospital. The ambulance's every lurch increased the pain and EMS techs either cannot give you pain meds or simply don't, not sure which.

So they roll me into the emergency bay and get me to move from the bed to a stretcher and I immediately do so and curl up into a tight ball. Because it felt marginally better to do so. Marginally. Which gets their attention because I should be on my back don't you know? All the while I've been asked the same four questions over and over. I barely had the patience for the EMS techs but I had managed to be civil through all their questions, but when I got to the emergency room my politeness failed me. And then they start pushing on my abdomen and asking me if it hurts. Me and my patience parted ways. I scared off one CA and had another firing back at me and that was when they sent a doctor over with my new best friend dilauded. That stuff was amazingly effective.

Here is where I start apologizing to everyone I snapped at because I know they were only trying to help. I answer all their questions, got a X-Rays, another EKG, blood drawn, peed in a cup, and had an ultrasound. It was the blood work that showed that my lipase levels (an enzyme created by the pancreas) were elevated. The normal range is like 35-50 (I think) and mine were in the 1000's.

They really weren't sure what was wrong with me at first. The ultasound didn't show any gall stones and I don't drink that much. In 70% of pancreatitis cases these are the main factors, alcoholism and gall stones. But they have the what if not the why so they admit me.

They couldn't get me a room until 6:30 am so I spent the night in the ER. This was an interesting night.

The tushie I saw wasn't hot tushie, but it was entertaining. Right outside my room (no actual walls, just a big sliding glass door) they've got a guy parked on a stretcher who has had a rough night. He got into a fight with someone (please bear in mind that at the time I was still high on dilauded so the details of his life are sketchy) while drunk. Really, really, really drunk. And bemoaning his lack of pussy. Loudly. Which. I mean if you are male and that drunk can you even get it up? Probably not. So, this guy under all those blankets hasn't got a stitch on. Not even a hospital gown. And he can't seem to keep his covers on. Entertaining! Hours later when he was ready to be released he hopped off the stretcher with nary a care in the world. Butt-naked.

Also, he wasn't the only streaker in the ER. There was a girl who joined in the fun sometime around 3:00 am. The ER staff had a dickens of a time keeping these two clothed and none of them wanted to stay put. As I said, entertaining!

So! That was my night in the ER.

The next two days were really boring. The pain never came back (I am not complaining) and they didn't feed me for the first 24 hours and when they did finally feed me, they kept me on a mostly liquid diet. The no food and liquid food was to give my pancreas a break. I may never again eat broth of green jello.

I did have cute male staff though and they were flirts. One kept me laughing all day Sunday which was lovely because in between the laughing I'm getting poked a lot with sharp things and getting other things stuck to me. They were monitoring a lot of things very closely like my lipase and what not.

Today I went for the second ultra sound and this was more in depth than what the ER had available on short notice. This showed that I actually do have teeny tiny gall stones which means the gall bladder has to go. I'll be taking care of that either this weekend or next in out patient surgery. I have had several people telling me not to put this off which strikes me as kind of absurd. No, I don't like the idea of surgery. I like even less the idea of having another episode like this.

One thing that was decidedly not fun was my mother having me as a captive audience. Which means I heard an awful lot about all the wonderful things Tom is doing for me. She's got a one track mind this woman. I love her but I wish she would let this go. I am grateful that he was there for me. I have thanked him repeatedly. I don't think thanking him with a reconciliation is the right answer.

So anyway. I am relatively okay. I need surgery and will get it soonish.

Thank you again for all the well wishes and the good vibes. They really helped and made me feel incredibly cared about. Fandom can be a really wonderful, supportive place and I appreciate every single one of you.
I just read the whole "enhancement" livejournal has going on. Jesus Christ on crackers. These people really have no idea what their users want. My flist is full of rage about this cross-posting to Twitter and Facebook. I don't have either of these blog sites, but I don't particularly want my comments going to someone else's site. I mostly post fic, but I behind the flock, I also talk about work, my struggles to put my marriage back together, mental and physical health issues, and a variety of sundry things I don't want broadcast to people I don't know. Who thought this was a good idea? Want I want to know is what exactly this means:

  • Once you enable Facebook and/or Twitter Connect, only your public LiveJournal posts (those marked as "Everyone") will default to cross-post, but you can override this on a per-post basis beneath the text box.
Um... so if I don't have a Facebook or Twitter does this not matter to me? Can my posts be pirated over to someone else's Facebook or Twitter (and doesn't Twitter have an extreme character limit? how would that even work?) without my permission?
  • If you set your default to cross-post comments, ALL of your comments, including screened and Friends Only comments, can be cross-posted whenever you choose. Only public comments, however, will be preselected to cross-post. If you wish to cross-post a Friends Only or screened comment, you will need to select the cross-posting option manually when you post the comment. Of course, you can override your settings on a per-comment basis, so you have complete control over whether to cross-post each and every comment.
Here is where it gets interesting isn't it? If I'm trading comments with a friend on a post that is on her LJ, can she be porting my comments over to her Facebook or Twitter? What if it is an intensely personal conversation. That's just not right. Am I reading this right?

I have reasons to stay here. Namely everything is already here. I'd like to move to DW but there is no remusxsirius comm, no accio_rs_fics, no rs_prophet, no fandomsecrets, and while everyone talks about moving over, my DW is pretty lonely with only a few friends. Most of my "friends" are imported LJers from my flist. I have very few DW friends.

I like the concept of DW, but I don't like the price. I've already let my livejournal lapse, just sort of waiting to see if I'd have a reason to renew. Doesn't really look like it, even though I miss some of the features. DW doesn't have those features yet and when my profile, which I worked long and hard on, was imported it was just a mess.

I just don't know what to do. I'm not going to delete this journal and I don't feel the need to privacy lock my flock posts because I trust you guys. But occasionally I make an open post about what I'm doing in fandom. I did the other day and a friend and I talked about her life for a bit. For her privacy, I edited the post so it was friends only. That's just common courtesy.  But say I post a story and for giggles some asswipe flames me (I've actually never gotten a flame on LJ, but this is hypothetical), could they post their nasty comment to Facebook or Twitter? Could they post my story to their Facebook or Twitter? How exactly does this work.

In other news, I refuse to refresh my friends list because I am so nervous about the results from [livejournal.com profile] mp_ldws . I am walking away from the computer now, la la la la la. I'm a big scardy-cat.

Merry Christmas Everyone! I'm not really feeling it this year but I'm trying to be at least a little bit holiday minded. I hope that you are getting what you want and if you're not that the New Year treats you better. I keep reading about hard times on my flist and I can relate and am sorry for all of your private troubles.

I place so little faith in politicians and political parties but maybe, just maybe all the hype is meaningful in some fractional way and the new regime administration has some hope for all of us. I have my doubts but when it comes to politics I am a proper cynic.

I went to the obligatory Christmas Eve dinner tonite, totally not in the right mind space for it and my mother (who got me a gift despite my demand that she not) told me I had as much right as anyone to have a happy holiday.

I wish it was so easy.

So, for what its worth, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that jazz.

Now on to my thank you.

Thank you [livejournal.com profile] siriuslyinluv71  for colorizing the beautiful banner created for me by [livejournal.com profile] thanfiction  and putting it up. I absolutely love it guys!

I'd like to invite everyone to swing by my lj and take a look at the banner and leave a comment telling them how awesome my new layout is.


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